La Vie London for Ribbed Magazine

Poor is the man whos pleasures depend on the permission of another...

Fetishisation of the fetish...

La Vie London for 1883 Magazine

La Vie reviews the Cinematique Student Film Festival at the IMAX!

Londoner and Proud

Bon soir mes petites! Well it's been a week of unrelenting debauchery, In La Vie's world this is otherwise known as...a standard week. But I have been working hard too, cherrypicking some delectable venues for you in the grand tradition- that of sumptuous cocktails, darkened rooms and, this week, more than a few nipple tassels. The things I do for you...

Proud Cabaret

Somewhere in the City, nestled amongst the skypiercing buildings, Windsor knots and trade floors, is a little door. Go through and be ushered into the past, into a world of cabaret tables and plush velvet couches, corset clad waitresses and smoky piano blues. It's a little bit Jazz, a little bit burlesque, with a dash of saloon thrown in for seriously good measure.

If you fancy going for the dinner option on a Friday night at Proud,you can't go far wrong - portions are generous, food is tasty, and the menu is ever changing, but more importantly is essential for soaking up the gorgeous cocktails you can't help but order and order and order.

La Vie recommends the Cucumber, Passion Fruit and Chilli Martini,which was perfect with the lemony dessert I had (which quite honestly I could have very happily got a hotel room with) and the quite devastatingly lethal Manhattans - made to order and about as deliciously headfucking as a cocktail can be.

Speaking of delicious things (and hotel rooms) I cannot fail to mention the show, which was gorgeous, professional and polished. My Vie-ettes will know all too wellwhat a huge fan I am of amateur burlesque, but I challenge you to watch the likes of Luna Rosa (fresh from the Venice Festival - famously'Satan's lapdancer) and Elsie Diamond with her fabulously dirty take on Blitz-era songs, and not be completely entranced, as well as entertained and not a little titillated...at the end of the evening the mood (and era) shifts to a 1950s swing band - the cherry on the cake in the time capsule, if you will...

A word of caution darlings - look out for the service charge at the end of the night,and keep an eye on your cocktail intake - those babies ain't cheap! Otherwise go,enjoy, have a downright decadent time...

www.proudcabaret.com

Ziloufs I visited this lovely bar on Upper St,moments fromHighbury tube, and lovedit! Great atmosphere and fantastic decor - rococo chandeliers teamed with early television sets, ingeniously converted into fish tanks! This was another drinky occasion I fear,but I have resolved to go back for food (the sight of a huge pile of rib eye steak and chips snaking it's seductive way around the room sealed the deal...) so I promise I shall report back on a place I can seebecominga firm favourite.

RubyLo Sister venue of one of my north London faves,this little underground bar between Oxford St and Baker St was another treat is a week which saw my liver officially file for legal emancipation. Beware the Rusty Nail, which might be moonshine, it's hard to say. But Vie-ettes!Embrace with all your might the wondrous menu, which includes modern takes on classics like the Dark and Stormy, stuffed with sugary limes...

Next week, art and stuff. La Vie will be visiting Gabriel Orozco at the Tate, sampling cupcakes and Sunday lunch, Knightsbridge style. The word is sacrifice.

Love to all xxxxLaVie

Cakes, balls and Freudian slips...

Hello Vie-ettes! Mama's sorry she's been gone for a while - I promise I will make it up t you, starting with this week's write-up of some pretty damn sexy joints in the city we call London. This week's jaunt into mischief and mayhem starts and ends with fabulous cocktails, with some bellydancers and masked fiends thrown in for good measure. Don't say I don't do nuthin' for you...

Freud

You know the feeling. You're looking for a bar to ease the pain, celebrate or meet a devilishly handsome stranger, but all you can find are high street, suit-saturated watering holes, neon cupboards stuffed with skinny jeans, or pubs which are 80% widescreen TV.

So what if I told you you could have an amazing cocktail time, in a hipster basement with no hint of pretence, and look at some pretty art while you were at it?

This is the concept behind Freud, the basement bar (the entrance is literally down where the binbags live) that's also an art gallery. Local artists' work is on sale, and this means that the decor is constantly changing.

The drinks I hear you salivate? Well they are as gorgeous as they are expertly made - La Vie recommends the Apple Pie, Moscow Mule and Crazy Lemonade. Then La Vie forgets where she lives. Uh Oh and Hell Yeah in equal measure.

So head on down to Freud, Shaftesbury Avenue. (http://www.freud.eu/cgi-bin/shop/page.cgi?file=bars.html) for funsies drinkies and maybe the odd devilishly handsome stranger...

Souk

Just down the road from Freud, if your feeling like having one of those nights out where you wobble down the road in search of your next drinking spot, and can't quite make it more than 200 yards, is Souk. The sister restaurant resides next door to a well known celeb haunt, but I prefer this more spacious venue in Seven Dials.

North African cuisine is definitely one of my favourites, and what's not to like? Huge steaming tagines stuffed with melting lamb and sweet apricots, juicy slabs of halloumi cheese and soft, warm pitta bread with hummous. Doesn't get much better than that right? Wrong! How about throwing in bellydancers and amazing exotic fruit laced cocktails (obsess much?)

At Souk you will be treated to all of the above, try the Souk Cocktail - figs, brown sugar, lime and rum....sorry I lost my train of thought. Ahem, also any one of the tagines will send you into paroxysms of culinary joy. In the evenings the place turns into a bellydancing spectacular, with traditional music and a fantastic atmosphere. It's not quite like being in downtown Marrakesh, but its the closest you'll get in London. In March. (http://www.soukrestaurant.co.uk/index.asp)

Last Tuesday Society Masquerade Balls

My final recommendation is to please go now to the nearest computer device or consenting cardholder, and book yourself a ticket to the Last Tuesday Society Masquerade Ball on the 2nd April this year. Judging from the Halloween ball, at which La Vie was a willing and very very naughty participant, this event, in a private members club off the Strand looks set to me an amazing one. I will of course be giving you the goods post-ball (mess) in the form of a full review. But don't wit 'til it's all over, take a chance and become one of organiser Victor Wynd's children of the night. Come masked and get ready to get crazy in a hottub to the sounds of a mariachi band...seriously.

That's it for this week darlings, remember La Vie loves you - 'til next time londoners and londonistas. Mwah xxx

October Fest....

Firstly a big thank you to everyone who said such lovely things about the Naughty Guide! I really appreciate all your kind words, it was a pleasure (!) to research and write, and I promise to continue bringing you all the filth and the fabulous from our little London town!

This month I have found myself on a quest for good clean fun. I'm by no means a raging politico but, as I understand it, the Pudding Club have got their hands on the Red Box of Power and are currently riding around town on the backs of giant swans, playing a form of street polo; using giant carved ivory mallets to whack anyone whose name isn't double barrelled until all their money falls out of their trousers. Finally the vermilion eyed, six-toed 1st XI Rugger team all ride off guffawing into the night, necklaces of babies' teeth clicking eerily against Savile Row cashmere? Have I got that right?

In any case, times like these call for burgers, karaoke and a big dose of party, starting off with Meddlers of Honour - I cannot recommend this night highly enough. If you're single, and your getting sick of dating websites, speed-dating/hating, blind dates and loved-up mates, then why not come and hang out in a room full of beautiful, fun and interesting single people. Alcohol you say? Mais oui! You might meet your Xmas romance or the love of your life...get involved at http://www.meddlersofhonour.com/

La Vie visited Piccadilly karaoke joint The Source Below the other week (http://www.thesourcebelow.com/) which was a real departure from the more corporate karaoke bars that have sprung up over London recently. If you'd like nothing more than to sing like a fool, with all your friends around you in an intimate private bar (yes, you get the whole place to yourself) without paying £11 per drink, then look no further!

After all that meddling and singing, I got quite peckish. Now, I'm not normally a fan of burgers - I think I've read too many American junk food expose books. However, there is a big difference between ordering your damp, anaemic, flat affair that's been making friends with the hotlamp for the last three hours (at which point the cow was probably still alive anyway) and the Brazilian feast that awaited me at X Burger House on Willesden Lane.

Burgers here are juicy, fat, and really tasty - obviously the meat is great quality and the toppings all work really well, even the slightly weirder sounding additions like peas and sweetcorn - don't knock it! Burgers come in 5" or 7", the larger of the two being a bit smaller than Saturn. Yes, this place is very generous with portions!

However, this is not reflected in the price - roughly £10 per head including beer. I urge you to support and frequent this small but very impressive establishment - wonderful Sunday lunch venue, miles away from 6am stodge and city pretence alike...

40-42 Willesden Lane, London NW6 7ST, 0207 372 1001

Coming soon...

La Vie's recommendations for October, plus the Naughty Guide in it's entirety! Yes, that's right, take it all...

The Naughty Guide 2010 Part Cinq: I should Coco...

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